NoBake Choco-cruchies

makes 8-10 (EZ double - or triple - or......)

What you need..

  • 100g/4oz butter, plus extra
  • 200g/8oz digestive biscuits
  • 3 tbsp golden syrup
  • 2 tbsp cocoa powder
  • 50g/2oz raisins
  • 100g/4oz plain chocolate

What you do

Butter a 18cm/7in sandwich tin. Seal the biscuits in a strong bag (or wrap 'em in a towel) and then bash 'em to bits with something heavy - not the cat.

melt the butter and syrup in a pan (or microwave on high for about a minute and a half). Stir in the cocoa and raisins then thoroughly stir in the biscuit crumbs....spoon the stuff into the tin and press firmly down.

Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water (or microwave on medium for two and a half minutes). Spread over the stuff in the tin and chill for half an hour... keeps for a week (yeah, RIGHT) wrapped in foil.

That's what the recipe says...

But that's not good enough for us, is it??

Additional ingredients (optional)

  • Jar of maraschino cherries.
  • Barrel of ice cream (preferably peppermint)
  • 1 tsp Essence of Brandy
  • Additional 4oz chocolate

After stirring in the biscuit crumbs (see above) add and mix in the brandy essence and the cherries. Melt the chocolate INCLUDING the second four ounces...but only spread half of it over the mixture in the tin.

During the half hour cooling time, pour the remaining chocolate over the ice cream and DEVOUR IT.

Savoury Bread Boats in Fire Lake.

(not for the faint of tongue...)

What you need

  • 4 slices of white bread per person (cut in triangles)
  • butter or margarine ( 3 knobs per person)
  • oregano ( about 1 teaspoon)
  • basil ( about 1 teaspoon)
  • paprika ( about 1 teaspoon)
  • garlic (optional)
  • coarse black pepper ( about 1 teaspoon)
  • salt ( about 1/4 teaspoon

What to do

First - know your spice limits you may want to adjust the amounts of butter and seasonings according to your tongue's bravery

In a non stick skillet, over medium heat melt the butter, add all the spices, mix well with the butter. Then add the bread triangles in order to soak up the butter and fry over medium heat until well toasted. The bread tri's should not be soggy and should have equal amounts of seasoning well coated over both sides......

These make a great munchie or as an addition to meals as an appetiser with soup or salad - but that doesn't take any courage at all... DOES IT??

In a large pot, throw two cans of kidney beans, two cans of Pinto beans, two cans of garbonzo beans, two cans of stewed tomatoes... DRAIN THE JUICE OUT OF ALL THE CANS FIRST... Chop up one red and one green pepper and add to the mix. Take the same nonstick skillet that you fried the boats in and brown one pound (or two) of good lean mince along with two diced small onions. Dump it in the pan and stir in ..... one 12 oz can of coca cola. Put pan on medium heat until the mess bubbles, then reduce to simmer. Put on your bravest face and amass two teaspoons of the following, Chilli powder, curry powder, mustard powder, ground ginger and ground black pepper - along with a healthy pinch of sea salt, garlic, horseradish and cayenne pepper. Mix all these powders together and slowly stir into the bubbling cauldron. Now take one teaspoon of Tabasco Sauce and one half teaspoon of essence of spearmint and stir them into the pot.

By now, your sinuses are cleared. Turn the pot back up to medium and stir WELL as it bubbles and belches at you. Be prepared for family members, next door neighbours (and possibly civil defence groups of one sort or another) to burst into your kitchen and demand to know why the house smells like.... that...

This is a sign to turn the heat back down and simmer for at least an hour.. just about time to eat all the boats and make another set - after all, the frying pan is already dirty, right?

pour a bowl.. float a few boats and half sink some others.

Eat - if you dare.

ps. Rennies make a good and functional life preserver.



Cat got yer tongue.....

Thin delicate desert biscuits shaped like cat's tongues

makes 8-12 biscuits (EZ double..or triple...or)

What you need

  • 50g/2oz softened butter
  • 50g/2oz caster sugar
  • 1-2 drops vanila essence
  • 2 egg whites
  • 50g/2oz plain flour

What you do

preheat the oven to 220c/fan oven 200c/gas 7 and line a baking sheet with non-stick baking paper. Blend the butter, sugar and vanilla essence until well blended and then add the egg whites - a little at a time, blending all the while. Add the flour and mix 'til smooth.

put teaspoon size dollops on the baking tray, well away from each other - you know what loners cats are.. bake for 8-10 minutes. Remove from oven, leave on tray long enough to lick the mixing bowl clean and then place on wire rack (or your tongue) to cool.

Banana Fritters.

Sweet or Savory - as you like them.

What you need.

Bananas - lots of 'em. Once you start eating them you always run out.

Olive oil... or some other very light cooking oil.

Butter, flour, grated lemon or orange rind and course pepper (Savoury)

Butter, flour, sugar (Sweet)

What you do.

peel and slice the bananas (diagonally is best) and dust lightly with the flour. Get the oil good and hot in a solid fry pan and cook the bananas for three minutes, turning once until golden brown. Just before the end add enough butter to melt and further brown the bananas, sprinkle sugar or lemon/orange/pepper - turn and resprinkle. Let banans remain on heat for about thirty seconds and then remove and place on kitchen paper towels to drain any oil. Both sweet and savoury like a dusting of icing sugar. eat 'em warm or chill 'em first.



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