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Mr. Alexander.
WHYEVER NOT...??
Some years ago, while I was in Austin, Texas,
consoling my eldest daughter on the eve of her impending divorce,
I happened upon an ad in the daily paper
trumpeting the success of an Austin school programme called "Homework Hotline".
It seemed like a wonderful idea.
It listed the phone numbers of Austin schools and allowed parents to call in daily
and hear a updated recording of their child's teacher
telling them what homework she/he had assigned for that day.
It was so simple.. so brilliant...
so EMPOWERING
to the average working parent that I wondered why it had taken so long to implement...
and why it wasn't in every single school in the country.
I called the Austin school district as soon as I returned home.
And I found out the answers to my questions.
It's the cost of the machinery..
A giant Hal-like computer which devours phone lines like so much angel hair pasta
sits, presumably, in the bowels of the principals office,
and each day
each teacher fills it with data,
and then sets it up to pass the info onto worried parents
who have to try to make sure that their kids are doing the right assignments at the right time.
Kids, traditionally being the evil demon spawn that they occasionally are,
are frequently tempted to move the lines of truth
away from the straight and narrow
and onto the more grey and twisting pathways
that they tend to feel much more comfortable with.
"I did it at school...she/he didn't give us any...I already did ALL of it..."
Ever heard any of these...???
NO????
Then you don't got no kids...
and what's worse is
you don't even remember being one yourself.
And so the idea languished,
irritating me and frustrating me...
It's all well and good for Austin Texas
one of the richest school districts on the planet,
fueled by dubiously misapportioned lottery dollars
and the attendance of all the kids whose parents are state capitol hotshots..
but what about the rest of us,
in working parts of the world???
And then finally,
it hit me..
call notes..
the automated answering machine from southwestern bell.
I've never used call notes,
because I'm one of those blind techies that has to buy all the gadgets when they first come out.
That's why,
to this day,
my desk calculator - which only has the basic four mathematical functions
and yet takes two "D" cell batteries -
has not given way to some sleek gleaming model,
one tenth the size and weight
and costing a tiny fraction of the one hundred and thiry dollars
(yeah, yeah... I know... unbelievable isn't it...)
that I paid for mine back in the mid seventies
when Radio Shack first rolled the prototypes out.
And so,
I also have what is now deemed to be an almost antique answering machine..
it still has two tapes
and a small tone thing that you have to hold up to the phone
so you can get the messages on remote...
and you don't even wanna guess what I had to mortgage to pay for that baby.
But I digress...
Call notes seems to be a nifty little thing...
you don't even have to have a phone for it to work..
just a phone number.
So I called southwestern bell..
(I'm sure that other companies have them.. but I don't know who,
and to be honest,
I get real goshdarn impatient when I think I've found the answer
to some problem that has been irritating me for years)
Here's the way it works...
For about twenty four bucks a month each,
every teacher, in every school
would get a phone number.
At the end of each day
they would call and leave a ninety second message that would tell parents
what happened in class and what the homework assignments are for that day.
They could also leave word of any students who were still missing prior assignments..
and of course they should mention the ones who deserved a little praise.
and here's the nifty part..
parents of students could call the same number,
and, after hearing the assignments,
could leave messages for the teacher.
No more hastily scribbled, barely decipherable notes
written on the backs of phone bill envelopes.
on the way out of the door.
No more trying to write about the complex and horrible household accident that caused your sons paperwork to become permanently affixed to his sisters underwear in the clothes dryer....
It's a simple process...
it gives power to the parent and communication to the teacher.
And it keeps kids,
a little bit closer to the staight and narrow,
and a little further away from the grey and twisting.
Notes from the teacher requesting parent/teacher conferences
which have previously been often
"left at school"
suddenly and swiftly become accessible by said parents.
Announcements of school activities
are no longer dug out of backpacks on the morning of the event
while you're trying to find your carkeys in the pants pocket
that's already in the washer....
O.K.,
So it seems like a little extra work for the teachers.
But think about it for a minute...
If they make the message available anytime after six pm,
then they have time to go home,
take a soapy bath,
relax with an adult beverage or three..
(Isn't that what ALL teachers do???)
and then make the message tape,
from the touch tone phone by the tub..
and in the morning,
while they sit on the spacious veranda overlooking the wild deer and pheasant run,
with fresh brewed coffee and croissants,
they can retrieve those hysterical parent messages
and giggle to their heart's content....
So who pays for it, then..???
who coughs up the 24 a month per..??
answer is we do..
the community pays..
local businesses, block parties,
jambourees and jubilees..
we raise the money..
bacause the truth is folks...
we pay anyway..
we pay in lost children and dissillusioned teachers,
we pay in frustration and time spent needlessly,
we pay in undereducated adults,
and misinformed voters..
we pay in new jails,
and old bigotries...
we pay more than 24 bucks a month..
we pay more than we can afford,
more than we have...
we pay with the lives and the dignity of our children,
and with the safety and developement of our communities.
So why not pay now,
for a little insurance, a little assurance,
for a slightly bigger glimmer of hope for the future...
I have any kids in school...
and I have friends that do,
and I live next to kids,
and probably so do you,
and I rely on kids for the preservation of the hopes that we all hold dear.
I rely on kids to be taught,
and on teachers to teach 'em..
and here's something else to chew on folks,
schools may indeed occasionally cost too much,
but teachers..
good, honest, ministers to the mind
are a bargain at any price...
and are woefully,
horribly
and SHAMEFULLY underpaid, undercompensated
and drastically overworked.
We want better schools??
Well better schools are purely and simply the end result of
better parents, better communities,
and better children.
Teachers have already demonstrated
to all of us,
that they will teach despite their hours,
despite our apathy
and despite their lowly paychecks.
So let's get the ball rolling here,
my little company will sponsor a teacher for next year...
I shall ask my local magazine if they will contribute the space each month
to publish the list of phone numbers,
and a list of the businesses, organisations,
and just plain folks
who take part in the sponsorship of the other teachers in our town.
Now, it's up to you guys..
we can do this..
it will help..
and our future deserves it.
we live in an academic world,
we pride ourselves on education.
St Louis, Mo. already has a homework hotline, based around call notes..
So do several other cities...
but does yours??
Mine doesn't...
let's do it,
cats and kittens,
Let's make the technology work for us..
whyever not???
If you found any of these pieces educational or at least amusing, drop a note of encouragement to
and maybe more such pieces will appear....
and
Remember to hug your Kids
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