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Mr. Alexander.

 

SOMEWHERE IN THE NIGHT

 

It was all about words, now,

all about the way the letters get strung together

all about the songs they sing and the pictures that they paint...

that's what it was all about for her..

anymore..

there wasn't anything else with this power in her life,

never really had been.

 

she had been reading these words all of her life,

even though she only found them

a few short months ago..

they had been there

on the tip of the back of her tongue.

 

they were just the right words...

words which her ears had formed in her mind

but no mouth had whispered to her...

words about skin and tissue

and liquids and air,

words in a rainbow..

with wings of their own...

they were easy words.. rolling into her head with an escort..

no lights, no stop signs...

and they already had a place to live,

a home waiting..

 

she was afraid and ashamed and enthralled and addicted..

all in the same held breath

and the words moved of their own accord

inside her opinions,

changing her face in the mirror...

she had been different now,

of late,

and yet he hadn't noticed,

hadn't perceived the biggest single change in her body

since her youngest had kicked her way out.

she had tried,

in her own way,

to tell him...

given him a roomful o' clues

and yet

he saw nothing, heard nothing,

felt nothing...

the changes had taken place in the part of her

which, to him, didn't exist..

the part which he had never seen...

 

he had fallen in love with the outside part,

the part that hung on his arm

and his every word,

and she had given him that part

and thought he had taken the rest along with it..

but he had never even seen the rest..

how could he?

after all she didn't know herself that it was there,

until the words came.

 

and now they caused her unease,

now they shone a small light into the hidden places,

and made them be alive

made them want to dance

like clouds in springwinds.

 

and she couldn't tether them any longer,

didn't know how to put the genie back in the bottle

when it was granting her wishes

that she had never even had to make

didn't even know what to ask for,

and suddenly,

there it was.

 

and what of him,

he who sent the words..

he didn't mean for them to set her feelings to be free

didn't even know her and her spaces and dead spots.

he just typed what came to his fingers

and

hoped that it made sense..

he didn't think of these things,

didn't use the power,

but rather

often got used by it..

that's how these things work after all...

he just hit the keys

and later found that he had hit her as well.

something happened to the words..

something became of them

the whole being greater than the sum of it's parts...

and now the words brought her fear,

fear of pain, and fear of happiness..

now the words were a discomfort

and the anchor of her new life...

now the words were the drug of choice

the last legal loophole in a grey society

the place where the rainbows grew and

the clouds became fairies.

 

that's why they came at night

why she read them

and re read them,

in the quiet time

when she was alone,

when her body was afire

and her mind was defenceless

to her own agenda.

 

that's why the words struck her primitive,

from behind her insides..

that's why they had their own sense,

their own spirit..

that's what the words were now,

and the river kept flowing faster

and her tiny boat became almost airborne

in it's current and it's wake.

she was afraid to stay in the boat

for fear that it would capsize

and yet she knew that she had to take the ride

had to find out where the river went..

had to know...

just damn well,

once and for all,

KNOW...

not knowing had now become her biggest fear..

above the habits and the easy..

above the act and the myth

she now simply had to know

and

truth be told,

she would not rest easy

in her soul

until she did.  

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Mr. Alexander

and maybe more such pieces will appear....

and

Remember to hug your Kids 

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