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Mr. Alexander.
SOMEWHERE IN THE NIGHT
It was all about words, now,
all about the way the letters get strung together
all about the songs they sing and the pictures that they paint...
that's what it was all about for her..
anymore..
there wasn't anything else with this power in her life,
never really had been.
she had been reading these words all of her life,
even though she only found them
a few short months ago..
they had been there
on the tip of the back of her tongue.
they were just the right words...
words which her ears had formed in her mind
but no mouth had whispered to her...
words about skin and tissue
and liquids and air,
words in a rainbow..
with wings of their own...
they were easy words.. rolling into her head with an escort..
no lights, no stop signs...
and they already had a place to live,
a home waiting..
she was afraid and ashamed and enthralled and addicted..
all in the same held breath
and the words moved of their own accord
inside her opinions,
changing her face in the mirror...
she had been different now,
of late,
and yet he hadn't noticed,
hadn't perceived the biggest single change in her body
since her youngest had kicked her way out.
she had tried,
in her own way,
to tell him...
given him a roomful o' clues
and yet
he saw nothing, heard nothing,
felt nothing...
the changes had taken place in the part of her
which, to him, didn't exist..
the part which he had never seen...
he had fallen in love with the outside part,
the part that hung on his arm
and his every word,
and she had given him that part
and thought he had taken the rest along with it..
but he had never even seen the rest..
how could he?
after all she didn't know herself that it was there,
until the words came.
and now they caused her unease,
now they shone a small light into the hidden places,
and made them be alive
made them want to dance
like clouds in springwinds.
and she couldn't tether them any longer,
didn't know how to put the genie back in the bottle
when it was granting her wishes
that she had never even had to make
didn't even know what to ask for,
and suddenly,
there it was.
and what of him,
he who sent the words..
he didn't mean for them to set her feelings to be free
didn't even know her and her spaces and dead spots.
he just typed what came to his fingers
and
hoped that it made sense..
he didn't think of these things,
didn't use the power,
but rather
often got used by it..
that's how these things work after all...
he just hit the keys
and later found that he had hit her as well.
something happened to the words..
something became of them
the whole being greater than the sum of it's parts...
and now the words brought her fear,
fear of pain, and fear of happiness..
now the words were a discomfort
and the anchor of her new life...
now the words were the drug of choice
the last legal loophole in a grey society
the place where the rainbows grew and
the clouds became fairies.
that's why they came at night
why she read them
and re read them,
in the quiet time
when she was alone,
when her body was afire
and her mind was defenceless
to her own agenda.
that's why the words struck her primitive,
from behind her insides..
that's why they had their own sense,
their own spirit..
that's what the words were now,
and the river kept flowing faster
and her tiny boat became almost airborne
in it's current and it's wake.
she was afraid to stay in the boat
for fear that it would capsize
and yet she knew that she had to take the ride
had to find out where the river went..
had to know...
just damn well,
once and for all,
KNOW...
not knowing had now become her biggest fear..
above the habits and the easy..
above the act and the myth
she now simply had to know
and
truth be told,
she would not rest easy
in her soul
until she did.
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and maybe more such pieces will appear....
and
Remember to hug your Kids
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