Aries (March 21-April 19)

OK, so the longest day of the year has come and gone, and you're STILL not King of the World..... someone else must have REALLY messed things up..

 

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You'll get it right next time.. honest, you really will!!

 

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Confusion, confusion, chaos, chaos... dinner for two?? or four????

 

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Oops, sorry... maybe it's time to give numerology a try.

 

Leo (July 23-Aug 22)

Ah yes.. the lioness does all the work.. and the lion eats it's young.

 

Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22)

Everything old is new again...

 

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22)

Romance is coming.. LOOK OUT!!

 

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)

In the great grand scheme of things...it's just another month - and it'll be over before you know it.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)

This will be the most significant month of your entire life...your greatest challenge will be to find out why.

 

Capricorn(Dec 22-Jan 19)

Only another entire half a year to a birthday party...

 

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Aquarians.. the mudstock nation.. high on life and bad acid... the Wavy Gravy children...designers of silly jewellry and strange head adornments... the second shepherd in the nativity play of life...never Patsy, always Edina or Saffron. We love ya really, little 'quarians - yer as cute as hamster hats.

 

Pisces (Feb 19-March 20)

It's the paranoid month for Pisces...better check up on your beloved, things are not ALWAYS as they seem.. or then again, maybe they are...hard to tell from here, y'know?

If ya don't like these Horoscopes... try some old ones here.

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