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No-one can tell you that you're not "simply the best" - well, they CAN but who the hell cares.... |
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Any day now....any damn day |
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Doom and gloom... gemini gets everything in twos. |
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We know what you have been up to lately, Cancer. Look out for the tracks of the raven, and don't buy that new car, at least not yet, ok? |
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Leos make good ex - anythings, wives, husbands, partners... even children sometimes. On the other hand, they are usually successful at getting to be the something in the first place so waddya know, huh? |
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You are ready to spread your wings and fly, ready to soar and swoop and dive for the diamonds on the crests of the waves far below....maybe next tide.. Sorry, but this month is the same old chips. |
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If you're lucky, this is the time to meet the new love of your life... if you're a true Libra - it's a new job. |
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Scorpios are just too goshdarn cynical for their own good...it's that sting that's as likely to get themselves in the ass as it is to ward off attack.Weaponry is never good in the hands of the characteristically inept. |
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It's Spring and you're in love.... for good this time. It is really hard to get a clear bead on the details, but either way you are totally fished. |
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Those born of the cusp will likely be devoured by mice. The rest of the Capricorns will attempt to have a spiritually uplifting experience during a rainstorm. Don't dangle a key. |
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Ah, me... Aquarians are the packing chips of the planet, keeping the rest of us safe and warm while being a tad impersonable themselves. They can , however take comfort in the knowledge that they narrowly missed being Piscean. |
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Pisces provide the bubble wrap of the planet.. in fact of the entire galaxy. Squeeze some, listen to the pops. But they sure can keep ya warm on cold days and nights. |
If ya don't like these Horoscopes... try some old ones here.
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