Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)

They get a bad rap, do scorps.. mostly undeserved but often they get away with a bunch of other stuff so, in the grand cosmos, it all balances out...

they're passionate, but ya gotta really dig deep to find it.

I guess that's why Scorpios marry late and divorce less.... or maybe that's the fearfactor.


Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)

Prone to cuckoo-ism.. have great ideas frequently based on the good ideas of others. Enthusiastic as all gettup but have been known to gild the ol' lilly every now and again.

Charled de Gaulle, Mark Twain, Woody Allen and, of course, Akbar the Great (3/12/1542)


Capricorn(Dec 22-Jan 19)

Deadly serious, Cappies... late bloomers, but dieharders... Try to love them... go 'head, try.. they don't like it y'know. They get irritated at the concept that they might have to demonstrate reciprocation.

They will love ya back, they just don't want to have to show it.

Mao Tse Tung, Marlene Dietrich, Tracy Ullman


Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Aquarians like fish.. and water and little divers with bubbles coming out of their.....

oh, wait, that's aquariums, isn't it.. I always get those two mixed up.

Lucky Lindy, Geena Davis, Angela Davis and James Joyce.. now THAT's a tankful.


Pisces (Feb 19-March 20)

Beautiful to the core, people who would shame fairies into silence with their wisdom and kindness. Pisces form the backbones of civilised societies, for the most part and are rarely acknowledged for it.

and it makes them feel very, very sorry for themselves.



Aries (March 21-April 19)

Well now, Gordon Brown lost an election he didn't hold (and feels very very sorry for himself), the conservatives are ahead in the polls, Boris runs for Wittingtonland, housing prices plummet and cows have developed blue tongues.

I betcha there's an Aries to blame and/or thank for all this.




Taurus (April 20-May 20)

With winter girding her/his loins to rush headlong at us, all good taureans are looking ahead.. maybe 08 will be better, maybe all the stuff they pretended wasn't happening last year wil have simply gone away..

maybe slow and infuriatingly steady is the best way after all...

maybe Victoria Wood doesn't even know the meaning of ironic...




Gemini (May 21-June 20)

The posties of the planet, great communicators and message bringers to the world... but they change plans and forget who they are supposed to be telling what to...

bit of a difficult trend for messengers, really.

Isadora Duncan, Dylan (still), Mel Blanc and Marilyn.


Cancer (June 21-July 22)

In all the astrological books the word "irritable" is frequently found in this one form or another.

ALL of them.. without exception.

strange that, doncha think?


Leo (July 23-Aug 22)

If power goes to their heads, you find them trying to take control and interfering in the lives of others.

curious tho' about the use of the word "if"


Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22)

Hopping merrily along the pathways that the rest of us fear to tread, and venturing down alleyways that only they can see, Virgos are often better left alone with only the occasional nod of acquiescence and a mumbled, "oh really, dear?"


Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22)

F.Scott Fitsgerald, Juliet Prowse, George Gershwin, Sylvia Kars, Ghandi, Gore Vidal, Annie Besant...

the highest of the highbrows set in a melange of torpid indifference.

Generally the people who yawn first at a party. and don't bother to disguise it behind a drink.

If ya don't like these Horoscopes... try some old ones here.


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