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It's a new year and a new day and a new beginning for a new you... ah well, it appears that the new you bears a remarkable resemblance to the old you.. only older and a little more worn around the edges. |
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Spring is rebirth time for fishtypes... reoxygenate and look for milt. |
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Okay, so now is it the millennium? or is it still next year? 'Cos I got me some kickass resolutions for when the millenium gets here. |
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I've been wondering who is supposed to get all the good fortune this year.. process of elimination sez it might well be you long overdue Taureans. |
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Only a rose and a small glass of plum wine will keep the ghosts of springtimes past at bay. Drink up now, dip the petals and tickle. |
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I have been sworn to secrecy about the outcome of Cancerian events, at least for the time being. Stay tuned. |
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The big cats, purring and shaking the dew from their paws in the sunrise. With a yawn they look for action. Follow if you can keep up. |
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Tea makers to the stars... Crust cutters from cucumber sandwiches.... The people who dust the dust. They'll tidy your life, before they bury it under their own chaos. |
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This time last year things weren't so good for Librans, what with the plague, pestilence and the floods an' all. This year promises to be better tho' - So gather your chestnuts while ye may.. hey nonny nonny and so forth. |
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Scorpions revolt.. George W. Bush in charge and Beatles atop the charts... the scent of Nixon pervades the air like rancid fruit in Pamplona alleyways. The Giants are in the SuperBowl and snow has melted from the Lake district. The U.S.A. bans funds for overseas abortions and the U.K. endorses cloning the unborn... Eminem battles Bob the Builder and neither wins... ho hum.. it's a Scorpio world. |
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I've never known any Sagittarians.. but they should carefully lock their car doors this month and avoid patches of ice on their kitchen floors. I have it on the highest authority from one who should certainly know such things. |
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It's the time of year when all Capricorns regret that they are listed last on the Horoscope charts. I'll make it worth their wait. hey kiddoes, it's gonna be WUNNERFUL... you just wait and see. |
If ya don't like these Horoscopes... try some old ones here.
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